It seems like I can’t seem to keep up with posting here, so once more I apologise to all my subscribers for my laxness. I’m about a month behind with posts, which was not helped by a recent fun dance with pneumonia, but I will do my best to get back up to date in the next week or so.
Today I am going to continue a story I started writing a few months ago. This is the tale of a person who is a bit of a psychopath, which I originally started writing a very long time ago, and then decided to completely re-write. Anyway, time to get on with the show.
This post, like most of my posts, is for my paid subscribers. Please consider subscribing if you want to see where this story is going to go. It really does help me a lot!
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It's been a month since my trial run at the train station. A month of battling with the demons and thoughts that keep rising to the surface, telling me that the way I have been treated my whole life is not right, and that it’s okay for me to take revenge on society in any way I can.
I have felt the tension rising, slowly, surely, consistently, and now it’s at a point that I don’t think I can hold back any longer. I need to go through with my plan – I need to actually take action, and maybe even a life. I need to stand up for myself against all the injustices, all the bullying, all the times I’ve been pushed to the ground and treated like I don’t matter.
I need to prove that I matter. That I’m important.
It's the weekend, and my parents are away visiting friends, so I have the house to myself. I sit and fight with the internal voices for as long as I can, but it’s a battle I am doomed to lose. It’s time to get up and DO something, for the first time in my life. Something unexpected, something terrible. Something exciting.
But I’m not going to rush into things – that’s how mistakes happen.
I have been studying anatomy online. I know this is a bit of a risk, as if my actions are ever traced back to me in some way the police will be able to use my browser history as evidence against me. But short of destroying my computer completely to get rid of that history, I have to hope it won’t ever be a problem.
I think I’ve worked out the angle and trajectory and best place to stick a knife into a persons back to cause maximum damage, but I will need a big knife. This is a bit of a problem, as we only have one such knife at home, and I’m quite sure my mother will notice if it suddenly goes missing, followed shortly after by pictures of it covered in blood on the evening news.
So I will have to get my own knife from somewhere.
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